Dave Conway Piano





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I Was Right About FFXIV:HW and Now the Rest of the World Is Finally Catching up to Me

15 September 2015 10:07 EDT under

Hey, remember when I wrote about how shitty Final Fantasy XIV: Heavensward's endgame is? I do. To refresh your memory:

  1. Horrible pacing of gear progression
  2. Everyday content is incredibly boring
  3. There is no middle-difficulty content

I have additional updates to this list, as well:

I brought all this up a couple times on the FFXIV subreddit, but it was largely shot down with "you're a crazy person all content is relevant and amazing and perfectly paced and you're dumb yadda yadda". Heavensward was widely critically acclaimed. So what the hell am I missing?

As it turns out, nothing. God, I'm great.

As it continues to turn out, I just took off the blinders and my Hat of Rampant Fanboyism a little bit earlier than most other players did. When I hopped into the subreddit yesterday, I saw this thread sitting at the very top. More importantly, I saw a lot of people coming in to voice that -- and I'm paraphrasing here -- Heavensward is a big old pile of poo that's so boring it can't even make the effort to stink.

And it was while I was reading that thread, an appropriate way to succinctly vocalize my disappointment with the expansion presented itself to me:

Heavensward is meant to be an expansion to a game, yet all it's accomplished is making me feel more limited in my options as a player than ever before.

Of course, there were a slew of comments along the lines of "well, A Realm Reborn had a boring endgame when it first launched," and such. I'm so fucking tired of seeing this form of shit-apology, so to those who employ it, I proffer Dave's Law of Cyclical MMO Shittiness:

A game's having set a precedent for any form of shittiness cannot be invoked as justification for a years-down-the-road return to the same exact shittiness, especially when the game has, in the intermediate time period, proven that it can transcend said shittiness and reach a state of awesomeness.

This is like when people defend a 2015 title for not having now-standard MMORPG features by saying that World of Warcraft didn't have those features at launch. Bitch, it is not acceptable to use the at-launch state of an eleven-year-old game as a reference point for acceptable MMO feature-richness in 2015.

Anyway, someone who stapled the aforementioned Hat to their head wrote a competely nonsensical rebuttal to the first thread, and a bunch of HW white knights came and, well, white-knighted it. The tl;dr there is essentially "you getting bored with a game and a game being boring are not the same thing." It's a stupid semantics argument that holds no water to begin with, since something that is boring induces boredom, and since not everyone has boredom induced unto them by the same things, the state of "being boring" is entirely subjective anyway. So, yes, to a large number of players, Heavensward is boring. Period.

The silver lining of this rebuttal, which basically amounted to complete disregard for Dave's Law of Cyclical MMO Shittiness, if you can even believe that, is that a user named Ayrikka posted a top-tier smackdown of each of the rebuttal-poster's talking points, and illustrated in no uncertain terms how and why Heavensward is so massively underwhelming.

If you're a frustrated FFXIV fan, it's all worth reading.

But, most importantly, I was right, and now I'm gonna shout it from the rooftops of my blog to all zero of you who are willing to listen.